do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
