Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
