When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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