he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
