OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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