come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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