dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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