dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
