i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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