Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
