Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
