I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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