It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize