Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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