Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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