Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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