quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
