I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
