i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
