Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't deserve a penis
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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