Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
