did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
