and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
