were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
