I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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