Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
