We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
