You can't special order awesome
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
