if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
