he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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