I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
