I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
