Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
