addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
