Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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