By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I need water and some morals
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
