The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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