do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
