I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
