grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
