i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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