My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize