no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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