Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
