Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
