Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
