So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize