Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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