Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
