If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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