It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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