I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize