My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
