All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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