never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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