He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Everyone says I win the strip club
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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