our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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