Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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