If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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