Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
