Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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