she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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