is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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