Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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