No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
