party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
