what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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