My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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