Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
