we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
