dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
